The New Year?

It's coming to that time of the year where a new year is beginning. The year 2012 was a very interesting year filled with laughter, happiness, disappointment, sadness, and many more emotion. My hope for the new year is that people will learn to appreciate the people around them more and include them in things because to be honest i am a very emotional person who doesn't have a very good relationship with girl friends and i hope this year it will changed but i'm not so sure yet. i hope to get better grade in this coming year and get into the university i want to go to and hopefully go to an out of state school. I think that will help me get to know myself and the people around to see if they will do care if im gone. This year i hope to learn more about myself and the people around me and to surround myself with people who do actually want to hang out with me and actually doing it instead of saying it. Maybe i just need to find better friends or not have any friends at all cause my family and my boyfriend will be enough for me because they do actually hang out with me. Let just see how the new years goes. There is another wedding coming up so we will how it goes from there. Happy New Year everyone!!! Be safe!

Cherish the people around you!

These couple of days have been tough because my grandma just recently passed away from a heart attack. This came out of the blue for everyone and i think this is why it makes it so much harder for everyone to believe she is actually gone. Every time i see my aunts, uncle, and grandpa cry it makes me cry because that was their mother and my grandpa wife. i cant imagine how they feel and how hard it is for them. Losing a mother is the hardest thing for everyone because your mother rise you and you think she will always be there for you and sometime you forget that one day she wont be there anymore. This is why we should spend more time with the people we love and make the effort to see our families and friends because one day they can disappear out of the blue and leaving us regretting how we never spent anytime with them. This really opened my eyes to see my family more even when i am busy but i should try and make time for them. i am truly sadden that i didnt spend enough time with her because i thought we will have more time together but we didnt. It still feel like a dream that she is gone, i can't believe that i wont see her anymore. I think it wont hit me until i got to church on sunday and i wont see her there or when we have a get together and i wont see her there. That's when i will realize that she is truly gone but at least i will know that she is not hurting anymore and is with god in heaven and that she is not alone. Rest in peace grandma.

Life and some other stuff...

Lately i've been feeling depressed and not wanted in this world. School has been stressing my out so much that i don't even know what to do anymore. There's just so much work to do and sometime i can't seem to get all of that work done. I feel like i dont have anyone to vent too but my boyfriend. I can't even talk to my friends because i feel like i dont even have any. I feel like they always tend to leave me out because they dont want to hang out with me or that they dont even care if i'm there. I thought they were going to be my friends for life but to me it look like they aren't. Maybe i am a little jealous but sometime i wish they would care more and include me sometime, or just simply call and ask me if i'm doing anything and invite me but they dont. They always assume that i'm busy or i'm with my boyfriend. It doesnt hurt to ask sometime you know. A friendship is like a relationship, both of you have to work it out not just one person and i feel like i always have to do it first or none of them wont. I am already stress out about everything and now i have to worry about them. Sometime i wish i didnt care so much then i wouldn't be feeling like this.Maybe if something super bad happen to me then they will care eventually. I thought they were my friends but apparently not. So this is all i'm gonna say for now because i am very upset and hurt about everything and i dont have anyone or anywhere to go or to vent too. Thank you for listening.